My parents

I can't remember if I've complained about my parents on here before, but sometimes they really bug me. It's difficult to figure things out when you're under 18 in college. A vast majority of my decisions have to be run past my parents, despite the fact that they really don't have a lot of say in my life. That means a lot of unnecessary complications. Especially since I'm moving of campus next semester.

Talking to my mom today really helped that though. While we were discussing a myriad of things, the subject of where I'm living came up. She explicitly stated that while she isn't suggesting moving in with my boyfriend, she would support me if that's what I decided. I'm glad, considering that's what I'm planning (though in a slightly different manner).

I have few friends who haven't already figured out their plans for next year, or have openings. One of them is my boyfriend. He just got a new roommate, but one of their other friends is planning on moving in as well. One of our other friends. I've practically been living with them all since the beginning of the semester, and I think we're the most grown up people we know. So, my most thought out possibility is moving in with Madi, Sean, and my boyfriend. Sharing with Madi.

I'm thinking that even if we did end up breaking up, it would be mutual. I wouldn't break lease. There are very few situations that would cause me to have difficulties living with all of them.

Just felt like I needed to say all that. I'll talk to everybody about it in the next couple of days, then bring it up to my parents over break. Hey! Madi's coming back with me the first weekend, this could be fun.

Thanks,
Ren

To my crazy ex

To my crazy ass ex who was never even my girlfriend,
Looking back today having a discussion with a virtual stranger, I realized that our "relationship" was just that. For years, we were in a codependent love/hate on/off relationship that was definitely damaging.

You were my first crush.
The only girl I've ever felt that way about.
My best friend.
The person I turned to.
The person who turned people against me.
I loved you.
I hate you.

I still dream about you. I still question everything that went on with us.
You still influence my every relationship. I'm working on that.
Now that I've realized what we had (what we didn't have), I can recognize it. I can get over it. I can work on beating it.
Someday, I will be able to say that I've gotten you out of my system.
That you no longer affect me.
Because I'm my own person. I  refuse to allow you to affect me, long after you've left my life. After I've left yours.
I've begun to define myself on my own terms. This is another step in the direction towards me. The best me.

Thank you for showing me the best of you, the worst of you. You gave me that crazy ex that everyone seems to have. The person we all learn from. Because I did learn a lot from you. And I'll never forget it.

I'm done. Someday I may show you I'm done, but it's not my problem any more. It's yours.